so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
