My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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