Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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