In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
