I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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