Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
