I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
