Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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