OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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