dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
