so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
