I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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