quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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