i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
