so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
