You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
