We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
