dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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