Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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