Life is so much better after having sex.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
try to milk me bitch
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
