I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
