there's paper in my vomit.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
