Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
