We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
