shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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