found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
