I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
