When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
