Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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