Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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