I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
