We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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