STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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