I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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