He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
