YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
