I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I could make wine with my vomit
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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