woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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