you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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