just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
