is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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