So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
