If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
