Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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