the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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