I am midnight drunk by noon
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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