Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
