U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
id be glad to
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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