I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
