Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
